STAND BY ME ONEGAIIII (toi catchall)

[sadiskick]

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[sadiskick]

And it wasn't. Who do you think was the culprit?

[ Since they were all grasping at straws.

She sits on the bed, draping the towel over her shoulder. ]

[soba]

I don't know. I'm assuming you were the one with ten votes.

[ he can't think of who else would have gotten that many considering how the end of the trial went. ]

But going by the logic that made people suspect you, then Luna and Brown were also candidates.

[sadiskick]

I know I made myself look suspicious, but I can't be anyone but myself.

[ ... ]

I don't want to be anyone but myself.

[ That's a more honest answer. ]

[soba]

Even if being yourself might get you killed?

[ he gets it, but... most people would draw the line somewhere. ]

[sadiskick]

[ The smile she flashes at him is sharp, but there's something almost sad to it, too. ]

I've been attacked just for being brought into existence. If I'm going to die, I'd rather die for what I am, not what I'm not.

[ She looks away.

She'd rather be hated for who she is, not loved for being someone she isn't. ]

[soba]

The best option would probably be to not die at all, you know.

[ but that's not really an option they can choose for themselves, is it? ]

[sadiskick]

[ It's not. It's never really been a choice for her. ]

Asch isn't the only who's been dead before.

[ Of course she wants to live. She's not suicidal. She wants to dance to her heart's content at all times, but

well, a Servant isn't meant to be around forever. ]

[soba]

[ he remembers what she had mentioned during trial, even though it got eclipsed by literally everything that happened after. she's something like a goddess? he isn't sure. ]

... was that before or after you got powers?

[sadiskick]

I've always had powers.

[ She was made that way. There was no ascension to godhood. ]

But it doesn't really matter.

[soba]

Why not?

[ he's not sure if he can even ask this, and what's too off limits ]

[sadiskick]

[ ...

It's weird, feeling like she might want someone to understand. It's not usual for her. ]

How I was born, how I come into existence— it's different from you humans. When I die... if I die, in special circumstances, I can be called again.

[ It won't be the same her, though. She won't be the same person anymore. ]

[soba]

[ special circumstances...? it's funny, because if he did normal teenager things like play games, he could probably make some jrpg joke or something.

instead he just takes the information in. ]

Like... reincarnation or something?

[sadiskick]

[ If he were a normal teenager, he wouldn't be too far off. ]

No, it's not quite that.

[ ... ]

Are you sure you want to understand?

[ She's not used to humans wanting to understand her. ]

[soba]

I wouldn't ask if I didn't.

[ that's honest, at least. toi tries to avoid anything he doesn't care about. ]

[sadiskick]

[ She sighs. How does she want to explain this, if at all? ]

Where I'm from, certain spirits are recorded in a place out of space and out of time. They can be summoned by magic. When they're summoned, it's like a new life each time. Sometimes, you can have memories of previous times you've been summoned, and other times, you can't.

[ It just depends. ]

[soba]

[ like different versions of the same person? he tries to imagine what it's like that one day there might be another you out there who doesn't remember anything that you did.

it gives him a pause when he doesn't entirely hate the idea. ]

So, if something happened to you... you could come back, but it might not be you anymore?

[sadiskick]

[ She nods. ]

If I die, I still die. Being summoned again... I won't be the same existence. What previously made me able to be here would be gone. Every new summoning is... like a spiritual clone.

[ Reincarnation isn't completely wrong, but it's also not quite right either.

Three's no perfect metaphor or analogy she can make, nothing she thinks is good enough to give to him. It's odd enough that she cares enough to want to tell him, but... ]

[soba]

[ he can't say he gets it entirely, but... he might understand the gist of it, at least.

considering how proud she is, and how she had said she just wants to be herself, meltryllis might not be too happy about something like that, he thinks. ]

Well... I guess we'll have to make sure you don't die then.

[ here, anyway. there's not much he can do after they escape. ]

[sadiskick]

[ She's fine with it. She shouldn't have been able to be summoned again, if not for someone's cheating. She saw and experienced happiness once, and it was enough. It was more than enough.

His words makes her expression soften. ]

... You're strange.

[ There's no bite to that. There's no edge to it at all. ]

[soba]

There's definitely stranger.

[ missile is like

right there ]

[sadiskick]

... Not like that.

[ She sighs and looks away. ]

I find it harder and harder to distrust you.

[soba]

[ ... it reminds him of someone, and he tries to shake that thought away. ]

I'll try my best.

[ trust is something that can be easily broken over reasons someone might not think is a big deal. so he can't promise he might never do something she'd hate, but ]

And I'll do everything I can to make sure we both get out of here.

[ it's not a promise of something definite, but it's more than he can give to someone else. ]

[sadiskick]

[ She opens her mouth, as if to try to say something, but nothing comes out. Her hands are covered by her too long sleeves, but they clench into fists.

She still can't look at him. ]

... For a human, you're not terrible.

[soba]

[ there's a slight smile, but it smooths over. ]

... thanks.

[ he can't get offended on humanity's behalf since, honestly, he thinks they're all pretty terrible. ]

[sadiskick]

[ ...

Meltryllis is terrible in her own right, too, but tonight, she doesn't want to fully be. ]

Your profile says you're a kappa.